Racecar Bed Withdrawal

It is time for me to delve further into my own psyche. Two years ago I was fortunate enough to own and sleep in an absolutely awesome Racecar Bed. It truly was a most glorious item to have as a senior in college. Many people doubted my tales of this bed, but upon seeing its magnificence, these same people came to respect and stand in awe of my tremendously decorated mattress.

I recently realized that ever since the moment I gave up that bed that I have been unhappy. Something has been missing from my life. In the past I had attributed this to a lack of companionship, a certain lack of "bro time" if you will. I thought that perhaps the horrible nature of the real world was just taking its toll on me. Living in my parents garage, enduring day after day of an awful job, or not knowing what to do with my life next. However, upon further meditation, it has slowly become apparent to me that I am in fact in Racecar Bed withdrawal.

No doubt many of you are scoffing at my epiphany, but I assure you that it is quite inscrutable. It is not until you have had something this glorious and lost it that you will know exactly the feelings that I have now. It has silently been eating away at me for some time now, and the fact that I will probably never get it back is a truly terrible revelation. I will try to look upon the good times in great favor and begin to move on. I would not wish this upon the fiercest of my enemies and I implore all of you to avoid Racecar Beds for the rest of your lives. Do not let its glories tempt you into partaking in its bad-assness. It cannot be trusted, for it will only break your heart. Yes, it is true, I am not only suffering through withdrawal, but also a broken heart.

Continue to live your lives, but be sure to carefully consider all of your future actions, for you may be entering a danger zone. Stay away from Racecar Beds, stay far far away. Thanks for reading