The celebrity crush...

News is that Lady Gaga is on the market for a boyfriend. I cannot lie, this interests me. I am not saying that I will somehow become this man or hatch any ill fated schemes at attempting to make it happen, but I am saying that I would not scoff at the opportunity. However, this brings up a perfect situation to discuss the celebrity crush. In my mind there are several types of regular crushes, and in much the same way there are several types of celebrity crushes. There are crushes to the point where you just really enjoy their movies or music, there are crushes where you find the celebrity attractive and feel drawn to their looks as well as personality, there are two day crushes, two minute crushes, and lifetime crushes. I will admit that I have a celebrity in mind for each one of these crushes, and I will share a few of them with you now.

The first type of celebrity crush we will explore is the crush that really isnt a crush. It is more of an intense liking of the persons work. Now, I realize that there are several people who can fit into this type, and there are different celebrities in different genres who can hold this title. For instance, I really enjoy Jason Statham movies (except for In the Name of the King...yeesh), I love all of Phil Collins music, and I truly enjoy Daniel Tosh's comedy. Although I like all of these peoples work, it does not mean that I have any sort of romantic feelings toward them.

Next, we will explore the crush that really matters. This is the crush where you have romantic feelings toward a certain celebrity. This, too, has different types within it. There are day crushes, year crushes, hour crushes, and what I call the lifetime crush. I would say that in the past I have had day crushes on celebrities like Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock, and Tiffany Amber Theissen. These mostly come about when I see a movie or tv show and then fall in love with the characters that they play for a quick amount of time. Year crushes come about when I am into a celebrity for a long period of time, but I know in the back of my mind that it will go away sooner or later. Rachel Bilson, Trish Stratus, and Svetlana Shusterman from Real World Key West are all examples of Year crushes.

Lastly, is the lifetime crush. This is a crush much like the year crush, but instead this time you are not sure if it will ever go away. The celebrity that I am fairly certain will be a lifetime crush for me is a fairly new celebrity on the scene. Therefore, I am not quite certain about this, but I do know that it will at least last a while longer. In that case I will call her my current lifetime crush. Her name is Selena Gomez, and yes I am completely aware that she is fairly young and if that makes me weird then I am weird. Do not act like you do not have the same sorts of feelings for other celebrities, because you know you do. Dont hate, congratulate. Thanks for reading

When two or more crazy people get together....

As most of you know I often enjoy pointing out crazy people. It is this general disposition that has pointed me in a new direction. It is time to recognize the phenomenon that happens when two or more crazy people find eachother. A group of crazies forms, and they try to spread their crazy to as many people as possible. No doubt you will be able to find thousands if not millions upon millions of examples of this. There are cults, political organizations, charities, terrorists, general evil doers, universities, schools, and many other sorts of institutions whose foundation are a group of crazies trying to make you crazy.

The group of crazies that brought on this onslaught of mental activity is the group of crazy "missionaries" who tried to "rescue" a bunch of orphans from Haiti. These people are religious freaks who think they are doing Gods work and that he will protect them from the cruel Haitian Government. What they fail to realize, is that they are nuts. This group reminds me very much of a cult. The woman in charge of them has a great amount of zeal and truly believes that she is a God warrior. These sorts of people truly scare me, because they are one freakazoid thought away from the moment when they decide that a comet or other celestial body is passing over earth and is a spaceship waiting to take them to their promised land.

Another group that has me looking on in disbelief is the newly formed Tea Party. They are a political group that is so closely related to the republican party that I cannot understand their platform or philosophy. The Tea Party offices are located inside a republican party office. It just doesnt make any sense. Why are you trying to confuse yourselves. If you want to be your own party with your own candidates and platforms, then I suggest you work to separate yourselves from the republicans and most definitely stop aligning yourselves with the craziest of all crazies Sarah Palin. (Although I think she is crazy, does not mean that I cant enjoy the craziness)

I am calling upon all of you to be quite skeptical of these sorts of groups. They tend to come out of the woodwork in a time like this where the economy is down and people are looking for a cause to believe in. Keep a keen eye and be aware of these crazy mothers. You never know when they are gonna ask you to eat the special applesauce or put on the black Nikes and swig a little fruit juice. Thanks for reading.

Racecar Bed Withdrawal

It is time for me to delve further into my own psyche. Two years ago I was fortunate enough to own and sleep in an absolutely awesome Racecar Bed. It truly was a most glorious item to have as a senior in college. Many people doubted my tales of this bed, but upon seeing its magnificence, these same people came to respect and stand in awe of my tremendously decorated mattress.

I recently realized that ever since the moment I gave up that bed that I have been unhappy. Something has been missing from my life. In the past I had attributed this to a lack of companionship, a certain lack of "bro time" if you will. I thought that perhaps the horrible nature of the real world was just taking its toll on me. Living in my parents garage, enduring day after day of an awful job, or not knowing what to do with my life next. However, upon further meditation, it has slowly become apparent to me that I am in fact in Racecar Bed withdrawal.

No doubt many of you are scoffing at my epiphany, but I assure you that it is quite inscrutable. It is not until you have had something this glorious and lost it that you will know exactly the feelings that I have now. It has silently been eating away at me for some time now, and the fact that I will probably never get it back is a truly terrible revelation. I will try to look upon the good times in great favor and begin to move on. I would not wish this upon the fiercest of my enemies and I implore all of you to avoid Racecar Beds for the rest of your lives. Do not let its glories tempt you into partaking in its bad-assness. It cannot be trusted, for it will only break your heart. Yes, it is true, I am not only suffering through withdrawal, but also a broken heart.

Continue to live your lives, but be sure to carefully consider all of your future actions, for you may be entering a danger zone. Stay away from Racecar Beds, stay far far away. Thanks for reading

I Pitty The Fool Who Watches Lost

Last night was the long awaited return of the television show Lost. I must tell you that I have indeed never watched a full episode of Lost. However, I know some of the events that have taken place on this ridiculous show. There was the dreaded Polar Bear, seemingly endless amount of bullets for their guns, the smoke/fog, the others, time travel, weaponry, and a bunch of absurd characters. I do not know how anyone can watch this show. Every single person I have ever talked to that watches it usually gets so angry, or has been angry with the show in the past, that they seriously debate never watching again.

It is with this in mind that I am asking all of you to finally stop watching this show. Lets send it out on a terribly miserable note, and hopefully the losers who write this show will never get a job again. Do not let them win. I beg of you to boycott this "pull it out of your ass as you go" show. I am pretty sure that whatever crazy ending these writers have in store, if they actually have an ending ready, will only let all of you down and make you hate yourselves for wasting so much of your lives trying to figure out the riddles or whatever you call them. The one and only good thing about the fact that Lost is back, is that now we are even closer to it being gone forever. STOP WATCHING. Thanks for reading

Debates

In life there are certain debates that have been going on since before any of us were born. One such argument questions the sequence of life for a chicken. Was it the chicken, or the egg that came first? I will not pretend to know, or truthfully to care what the real answer is to this particular question. However, there are debates that come and go within our lifetimes that I feel much more comfortable offering my own opinions on. The problem with these debates is that they are not important to everyone, and in several instances they are not really important to anyone. No matter the case, these debates do persist and from time to time I will touch on the certain debates that pervade my life.

The first of these has been a quite boisterous one within the Houston household. This particular debate involves a difference of opinion between the patriarch and the youngest of his clan (me) over the abilities of one Tim Tebow. It is my opinion that while Tim Tebow may or may not be the greatest college football player of all time, that he most definitely will not be a valuable asset to any professional team within the NFL. My father sees things quite differently. He not only believes that Tebow will be valuable in the NFL, but he believes that he will indeed prosper at that level. My views match up with those of the people of note within the NFL and were recently bolstered with Tebow's performance at the Senior Bowl, where Tim fumbled the ball twice and his longest pass completion was only eleven yards. My father refuses to listen to the "professionals" and is completely willing to overlook Tebow's performance in the previously mentioned game. He believes that Tebow has "heart" and that nothing can stop him. My father refuses to acknowledge that NFL offenses cannot for the most part be manufactured around one particular player but in fact are about a system and players are brought in who can fit into the system in the best way. Dad also points to Tebow's leadership at Florida as a sign of his abilities easily transferring to the NFL. I, however, believe very strongly that the NFL is a business and in this business that Tebow's more over-emotional type of leadership just will not fly. I can only focus on Tim's physical abilities in my evaluation of him, and in so doing all I can do is see the negatives and predict nothing but a poor professional career for him. Poor Timmy.

An interesting way of trying to determine the correct prediction for Tebow's career is to look through similar players careers in the past. Off the top of my head I think of players like Eric Crouch, Charlie Ward (Like Tim, Eric and Charlie both won Heisman Trophies), and to a certain extent Vince Young. Eric Crouch was initially drafted by the St. Louis Rams as a wide receiver, but still wanted to play quarterback. His athleticism was seen as better suited for playing wideout, but a hard tackle by a defensive player caused him to have 150 cc of blood drained from his leg. Because of the injury, Crouch left the Rams before playing a game.Crouch signed with the Kansas City Chiefs in January 2005 and was allocated to the Hamburg Sea Devils of NFL Europe. Crouch converted to the safety position, recording 25 tackles and 2 passes defended. Charlie Ward was never drafted by an NFL team and decided to play NBA basketball instead. Vince Young's career is not over, but it has been mired by seemingly constant underachieving and a disastrous situation where his family feared for his life after he was benched during his third season. There are several other details within this debate that one could look at for assistance in forming their own opinion, and to tell you the truth I personally do not want to go in to any more of them. So, all in all, I cannot wait until the future will prove what side of this particular debate is closer to reality.

Im sure that for most people, this particular debate holds zero importance. However, this is my blog and this debate has been raging within the confines of the Houston family for at least the last year. If there happens to be a debate that you would like my opinion on, or my fathers for that matter, let me know and I will ponder all aspects as much as I can. Thanks for reading.

Ummm WHAT!?

My first post spoke about certain groups of freaks that are prevalent in our culture today. It is in this same light that I bring you this post. I have stumbled onto the scariest, greatest, most mind numbing, hilarious, awkward, and plain bizarre musical group of all time. You are most likely thinking, impossible. I shit you not my friends, this is the craziest group of all time GUARANTEED. Their name is Die Antwoord, and they are taking over the interweb. If you have heard of them before this I congratulate you and give you all respect as far as being ahead of the game.

Die Antwoord is a Zef Side rap group from South Africa. To be honest with you, I am not sure what Zef Side rap is, but it apparently is all the rage in South Africa. I attempted for a good few minutes to look up Zef Side rap, but alas the information was not to be found. Now, Die Antwoord is a group made up of three friends, and all of the info I am about to give you is plastered in huge print right on their website appropriately enough located at dieantwoord.com.

If you so choose I highly recommend that you check this out, but if you are too lazy Die Antwoord is made up of Zef rap-rave master: Ninja, Fre$h Futuristik rich bitch: Yolandi Vi$$er, and Beat-Monster: DJ HI-TEK. They are described as a lovable, mongrel-like entity made in Zuid Afrika, the love-child of many diverse cultures, black, white, coloured and alien, all pumped into one wild and crazy journey down the crooked path to enlightenment. I have no idea what any of that means, but after hearing them and watching their videos, it is just so obvious.

Please please please, follow the web address at the bottom of this post and watch the video for "Enter the Ninja". There are so many sights and sounds in this video that I myself do not know where to begin. The song is strangely catchy and will make you want to hear it again and sing the hook in your head and out loud all day. I must warn you that before you watch this video there appears for no apparent reason a primordial dwarf. He looks like some sort of crazy alien child who is pumped up on steroids and he is quite frightening. The rats and background drawings that exist throughout the video also make me question what in the hell is going on. Once again I thoroughly press upon you the importance of viewing this video. It will change you in many many ways. This is by far the craziest thing I have seen in a while, and trust me, that is saying something.

I am just so astounded by this revelation that I think I will most likely need several hours just to digest it. Thanks for reading.



Just go to this site and watch the Video. You must see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc3f4xU_FfQ&feature=player_embedded

The Grammys and the current state of music in my ears

Last night was the 52nd Grammy awards. I was very excited going into the event. Mostly I was excited to see several of the performances, and to a certain extent I was excited to see who would win the coveted prizes. The evening started out with one of my currently favorite performers, Lady Gaga. Now, I must point out that within our household Mother has blamed me for the persistence of Gaga's music being played by my Father. In retrospect I am not surprised that he has become drawn to her as well. She is very much a modern day mix of all the past female performers that he has taken a liking to. Her performance, however, was nothing really special (Elton John being there was pretty cool) but all in all I have to admit I saw nothing awesome in it. Little did I know that this was just a precursor for the entire show.

There was absolutely nothing during the show that was really worth my time. Pink's mid air spinning performance was by far the best, not in the theatrics of it, but her vocals were tremendous. Also, as I mentioned earlier, the actual awards left quite a bit to be desired. I am a little sick of Beyonce and Taylor Swift winning everything, but I completely understand their success. The biggest problem that I had with the awards came during the Rock section. When the nominees for these awards were announced it was like traveling back 20 years or so. The nominees were bands like Bruce Springstein, U2, Bon Jovi, Slayer, Megadeth, and others from past glory. It is time that the Grammys begin to discover todays rock scene and the bands who are influential now. Not only was I disappointed by this, but also, the amount of time that winners were given to speak after their names were announced was just ridiculous. In the end, the whole show was a let down and I want nothing more to do with it.

Today's music scene is a mix up and mash up of several different genres coming together and forcing themselves on one another. Now, I completely understand and acknowledge that my tastes in music are a bit off the wall and tend to trend more towards the masses. However, I am prepared to share with you the different bands and styles of music I think are going to be fairly popular in the near future.

In the past I have been both right on track with the way the music world is trending, and also way off base at the same time. As my roomates can attest to I tend to be somewhat ahead of the curve in certain areas and bands. So, it is in this same mindset that I point you all towards the musical stylings of Ke$ha. Right now she is the person I am looking towards having a spectacular year in the music biz. She is somewhat known already, but as her other songs continue to come out, I think her star is only going to rise.

Also, in more of a long shot, I would ask you to check out the Millionaires. I mentioned them in my previous post as I came upon them when doing my google searches and research on the emo and scene kids. The Millionaires have a sound and style that is very interesting to me. They are somewhat brash and crude, while at the same time easily mixing the sounds of several other bands who are popular today.

Another person I want to touch on is someone who has been around for a while. Micheal Buble. Micheal has been around and is extremely popular already, but until about a week ago I had not heard any of his music before. There is something oddly hypnotic to his voice and ability to string his words together in such a way that it truly makes me want to listen to him more and more. I would say that I definitely look for him to have a great year, but he has already had greatness and honestly I expect nothing else from him.

Finally, I bring to you CLIPSE. CLIPSE has been my favorite rap group since high school and are primarily the only rap that I listen to at all anymore. They are twin brothers who have a sort of confidence and in your face style to their lyrics that especially appeals to me. They have quite a bit of critical acclaim, but hopefully their popularity will rise and they will get the notice they deserve as more and more people like me mention them and continue to spread word of their abilities.


I know that this has been a bit long winded and more than likely unimportant to most of you, but as this is my blog, I will write what I want and if you are still reading then I hope you enjoyed the pictures at least. I urge you to check out the bands I have mentioned above, and even if you dont like any of them I hope that in your searching you might find just one band or new style of music that appeals to you and makes anything Ive saind worth while. Thanks for reading.